If you were to ask me if I would consider myself a morning person I would have to say no but I use to be. Somewhere along the way to twenty-four I lost my appreciation of the morning, and to be honest I am not sure why? Perhaps it might have been from the fact that in college I had to get up early for class some mornings and so those mornings that I did not have to wake up for class I rebelled by staying in bed as long as I could. I guess I need to force a revolution of my thinking. “Viva la révolution de ma pensée”, I know very little french but long live the revolution of my thinking is something I do, sorta. Sometimes I just need to rethink how I’m thinking, to stop making excuses and redefine why I do what I do.
This morning I started my day with coffee, a doughnut and some more coffee in my warm office sitting back in my much to large chair reading a book by Henri J.M. Nouwen. Henri was a former catholic priest and theology professor who spent his final years working with the mentally and physically disabled. I have read a few of this books and find his insites to be thought provoking and challenging to my spiritual growth.
As I was reading I came to this quote, “To live a disciplined life is to live in such a way that you want only to be where God is with you” (The Inner Voice of Love, pg 23). Sometimes in the morning when I wake up I ask myself “Where am I?” as I come to in the reality of the day. But perhaps there is a deeper question of “Do I find that where I am, God is there also?”. Thats a hard question that doesn’t come with a quick answer. Do I find myself in a place where God is?
Henri began this page in the book by writing, “When we experience a great need for human affection, you have to ask yourself whether the circumstances surrounding you and the people you are with are truly where God wants you to be” (pg 23). We all long for love, it’s a part of what makes us human but where we find that love is critical to how our lives are shaped and lived. We long for deep human affection and I believe God uses people to show us his love but are we really where God wants us to be?
I know from some of my experiences that I have been in places of great emptiness and there I just find a void of what my heart really needed. It’s hard to be in those places but we don’t have to stay there, there are times we fear change and fear being challenged to think differently. However, if we don’t ask the hard question of is this really where God wants me we may never move on.
This reminds me of Peter and how jesus called him to follow him. Peter had the choice to stay where he was and keep fishing all his life. He probably had a well established market for his fish, he had friends, family, and all the comforts
he could afford in the first century A.D. , but he had to stop and ask the question “Is this where God wants me to be, is this the place, are these the people, is this what I am suppose to do? I am sure Jesus saying come follow me threw him off his routine but Peter’s response was without hesitation, he moved to where God was and lived in a such a way that he wanted to be with Jesus.
Later when Jesus is walking on the water Peter ask’s jesus to call him out on the water, he wants to Go with jesus even if it’s scary and challenging. Peter was willing to Question whether being in the boat was where God wanted him to be or not? He was willing to trust that God was going to provide a way to walk on water. Each day we wake up and ask God is this where I am suppose to be today, if you want me out on the water call me there and I trust you will provide a way. We long deeply for love, we long even deeper to be where God is. Ask the hard questions, challenge your thinking and find out where God wants you to be. He is already there going before us we just have to get out of the boat.
-Caleb Ross Hunter
The Adventure of Dragon Hunting 